maybe

Maybe you didn't know
That everything you did would affect my entire life
Maybe you didn't know
That every cruel word you said cut like the sharpest knife
Maybe you didn't see
How I tried so hard to make you proud
Maybe you didn't see
How I felt like I was living under an invisible black cloud
Maybe you didn't hear
The way I silently cried out for your affection
Maybe you didn't hear
How I would berate myself when looking at my reflection
Maybe you didn't sense
The bond that the two of us should have shared
Maybe you didn't sense
How I would walk on eggshells around you because I was so scared
Maybe you didn't feel
Like I was ever good enough or smart enough or pretty enough
Maybe you didn't feel
Like you had any other choice but to be tough
Maybe you thought
She'll never know how it's supposed to be
Maybe you thought
She's the one with the problem, it's definitely not me
Maybe you just didn't care
That I never felt loved
That I never felt good enough
That I cried myself to sleep
That I spent every waking moment wondering what was wrong with me
Then one day I found my Father in Heaven
and now...
I know I am loved
I know I am good enough
I cry tears of joy
There is nothing wrong with me
I am fearfully and wonderfully made
I know I need to forgive you and one day I will...

Maybe
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4 thoughts on “maybe

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