what if… (conclusion)

He walked over to the table and picked up the cup of coffee she’d poured for him. He didn’t disagree, they definitely needed to talk, but he wasn’t sure he’d like what she had to say. He tried to act as if her words wouldn’t affect his entire life.

As he studied her face, he noticed it grow red under his scrutinizing stare. “I’m not sure I have anything else to say. I am pretty sure I’d said everything I needed to the last time we talked.”

She felt her face grow flush, why was she so nervous? He was, is, her best friend. He’s not supposed to make her nervous. “Then I guess I need to talk.”

She’d been trying to come up with the words all night. He’d passed out shortly after she’d put him in bed. The last thing he’d said to her was that she was ruining everything. She knew he didn’t mean it, he was angry and drunk. So while he was still yelling, she slipped out of his room and headed downstairs. She’d thought she might be able to get a couple of hours of sleep, but sleep evaded her.  Too much thinking, she was sure. Her mind had raced all night. She thought about how much she loved him. Yes, she felt the same way about him as he did about her. Only he was first to admit it. And what did she do? She ran.  She had always run. She had run from anyone who ever tried to get close to her. He had gotten closer than most, but it wasn’t close enough. She remembered how he told her that he loved her and wanted to be more than friends. They had spent more time together in the last three years than she’d ever spent with anyone. But there was nothing to risk in friendship. But now, he wanted more. And so did she, but she was scared. She just didn’t want to get hurt. As she watched the sun rise from his back porch, she decided that she couldn’t risk it. She had to tell him she just wanted to remain friends and if he couldn’t handle it? She’d probably lose him forever. Better now than later, after she’d fallen even harder for him. She’d made up her mind, she just couldn’t risk more hurt.

“I’m all ears.” His voice pulled her from her thoughts and she looked up to meet his stare.

She saw his face, annoyed and frustrated. It made her laugh. That’s when she realized, he always made her laugh. Not once since she’d known him had he hurt her. He’d never made her cry. In that moment, she knew, she’d risk anything for the happy ever after that they deserved. She also knew that he would do anything to give her that happy ever after.

“I don’t find this funny at all,” he said as he sat his coffee cup back on the table.

She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came. It was now or never, she thought. She got up, walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She could tell he was surprised, but he didn’t move a muscle.

“I love you,” she said and then gently laid her lips on his.

He pulled her close and deepened the kiss and felt an immediate sense of relief when she didn’t pull away.  He felt her body melt into his and he knew this was everything he’d ever wanted. He knew he would do anything to make her his forever.

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