As I watch him from afar, I realize he has no strength to go against you and I know that he does not want to. After all these years and everything that has happened, his loyalty still lies with you. I wish I could trust you to do the right thing with that loyalty. I truly understand how hard this is for you, as a mother myself; the choice between your head and your heart is a difficult one. Do you let him continue his pretentious behavior because you know it will keep you in his favor? Or do you explain to him that his being ostentatious is not necessary to stay in your life?
The last few years, he’s maintained that he doesn’t agree with the way you are living. As a matter of fact, he was adamant that he did not want to live with you. Yet, there he is, exactly where he said he never wanted to be. Let me say that I also understand his decision. You have been absent from his life for the majority of the last ten years. Before that, you had a bond that you thought could never be severed. It was definitely put to the test, but needlessly to say, it has never been broken. The fact that he is there with you now, is proof of that.
You may not believe this, but I’ve always wanted you to be a part of all of their lives. Unfortunately, your decisions and choices made that impossible. Now they are old enough to make the decision for themselves. Two have taken their stand and decided that it is in their best interest to not allow you back in. He has made his decision as well and I don’t fault him for it. He is thinking with his heart and again, that is understandable. But I implore you, do not do more damage than has already been done. He has what he wants now, he has you. I just ask that you guard his heart as I have done during your absence. I ask that you watch over him and encourage him to make the right decisions for his life. We both know that he is not where he needs to be as an adult. We know that he cannot make decisions that are best for him. We know that he needs guidance. I ask that you do your best to guide him in the right direction. I ask that you remind him that we, his other family, still love him and want what is best for him; just as I ensured him that you loved him when you were not able to. I ask that you do right by our child.
I will now let him go, I will leave him in your hands. I do so with a heavy heart, because I have no choice. I will leave both of you in God’s hands because that gives me peace.
Solomon’s Wise Judgement
Now two women who were harlots came to the king, and stood before him. And one woman said, “O my lord, this woman and I dwell in the same house; and I gave birth while she was in the house. Then it happened, the third day after I had given birth, that this woman also gave birth. And we were together; no one was with us in the house, except the two of us in the house. And this woman’s son died in the night, because she lay on him. So she arose in the middle of the night and took my son from my side, whileyour maidservant slept, and laid him in her bosom, and laid her dead child in my bosom. And when I rose in the morning to nurse my son, there he was, dead. But when I had examined him in the morning, indeed, he was not my son whom I had borne.” Then the other woman said, “No! But the living one is my son and the dead one is your son.” And the first woman said, No! But the dead one is your son, and the living one is my son.” thus they spoke before the king. And the king said, “The one says, ‘This is my son, who lives and your son is the dead one’, and the other says, ‘No! But your son is the dead one and my son is the living one.” The the king said, “Bring me a sword.” So they brought a sword before the king. And the king said, “Divide the living child in two, and give half to one, and half to the other.” Then the woman whose son was living spoke to the king, for she yearned with compassion for her son; and she said, “O my lord, give her the living child and by no means kill him!” But the other said, “Let him be neither mine nor yours, but devide him.” So the king answered and said, “Give the first woman the living child, and by no means kill him; she is his mother.” And all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had rendered; and they feared the king, for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him to administer justice. – 1 Kings 3:16-28