to trust or not to trust, that is the question

 I’ll admit, I’m struggling with a few things right now. Trust would be a major one. Not all of my current friendships have the aromatic of truth to them. As a matter of fact, something smells rotten in the state of Denmark…

Maybe my trust radar is off; I am going through a lot right now. But, if something feels wrong, it usually is. I’ll be completely honest. I feel like I’m being used. I feel like someone is only pursuing a friendship for what information I can provide to them and what things I can help them with. I believe they are using me to further their own agenda.

What makes me think this? The questions they ask when we speak and/or text. It generally starts off as an innocent conversation, but once we settle into a more comfortable flow, the questions start. Maybe I am reading more into it; however, this person has given me reason not to trust them in the past. I thought that issue was resolved, but apparently not.

There is also the fact that I believe this person has lied to me outright. Have you ever heard the saying, “If they will talk to you about others, they will talk to others about you”? I know this person has other “fake” friendships because she talks to me about other friends she’s supposed to be close to. When I ask if she has said anything to anyone about our conversations, she has said no. I know that is a lie. I’ve been told what has been said by her to other parties. Did I believe them at first? No; but they were able to provide information that they would have only been able to find out from her.

Now I am not saying I am perfect. I admit, I’ve done my fair share of gossiping, and it’s not something I am proud of; but if a friend is a true friend, I wouldn’t say anything about them that I wouldn’t say to their face. I know there is a difference between friends and acquaintances. Maybe I should put her in the acquaintance category until I know that I can trust her again. Maybe I should just end contact all together.

Decisions, decisions… the struggle is real, especially when feelings are involved.

via Daily Prompt: Aromatic

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3 thoughts on “to trust or not to trust, that is the question

  1. I’ve always been insecure about this very thing as well. I sometimes, even if I may feel guilty for it, ‘test’ my friends. I don’t like always having to plan, or to invite, or to provide. I wonder if my friends would ever need me or value me as much as I might admit I do to them. I think it’s just that we give so much in our relationships, including friendships. No need to lessen our value or worth or view of friendships. We just hold people to higher standards but hopefully reap greater friendships from it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have been known to put a friend or two to the ‘test.’ I then over analyze the results. LOL. The same person could react five different ways at five different times for several reasons. I think we just have to take it at a case by case basis. I try to trust someone until they give me a reason not to. It’s definitely hard sometimes.

      Liked by 1 person

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