Fear causes us to do stupid things and make stupid mistakes. The definition of a coward is a person who lacks the courage to do or endure dangerous or unpleasant things. There are many synonyms for the word coward; yellow belly, chicken, lily liver, wimp, etc. No matter what you call it, fear is a part of human nature.
I believe one of my biggest fears is confrontation. However, as a Christian, confronting your brother or sister in Christ is something you’re told you must do. In Matthew 18:15, the bible says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
We all make mistakes, I know I’ve made my fair share; but I’m learning from the mistakes I’ve made. I have hurt people, with no intentions to do so. Fortunately, I have been able to save relationships with some because they did the right thing. They came to me and told me how they felt and explained what I did wrong. I was told what I did and I was able to ask for forgiveness. Thankfully, I was granted that forgiveness.
One of the worst mistakes you can make in a relationship is involving others in your disputes. Again, the bible says to confront your brother between you and him alone. If I do something to offend, hurt or upset you, what good does it do to tell someone else? How does that help our relationship? It doesn’t, it just allows someone else to influence your feelings on the situation. Of course, I understand why people do it. I’ve done it myself, just one of the many mistakes I’ve made. You tell someone else so that they can confirm that your feelings are justified. Nobody wants to be told that they are wrong or they shouldn’t feel a certain way. But again, involving others in something that should be between just you and the person that hurt you is a sure way of ruining your relationship.
Fear is just a part of being human, but fear of confrontation is something I’m learning to get over; especially in the area of saving relationships that are important to me. It’s never easy, but the reward is so much greater than the alternative.